I don’t entertain New Year’s resolutions. It’s sort of a combination between my own refusal to think through a year’s worth of commitment and a divinely altruistic motive, knowing that I cannot possibly know the mind of God and what’s in store for me, having given up on my own agenda long ago. Thus, I try to listen for the word that God would speak to me for the year; a word to keep in mind as I am looking for invitations from my creator.
There were two years in a row that God told me simply, “Be still,” and subsequent years were no less frustrating or rewarding than those two years of learning that life was not about what I could check off of my list of accomplishments. I learned the value of stillness and the necessity for it, and while it is not yet a defining characteristic, I seek to honor God’s purposes for the still moments in my life when I would find it easier to be restless. Knowing this makes this last year and the need for this year’s word even more ironic.
2023 was a brutal year. My career brought unwanted chaos and pressures that pulled me away from the children I spent decades praying for. Life isn’t fair to women who want careers and motherhood. The balance feels unsustainable. The result of being mercilessly pulled by desires in so many different directions was a loss of a sense of self and feeling entirely unfulfilled by any of my ambitions, motherhood included. The last quarter of the year as I metaphorically gasped for air and felt mentally, physically, and emotionally drained of vigor, I continued to evaluate what I could possibly do differently. What did I have room for in my life? What could I let go of?
All year I had made attempts at integrating healthy rhythms into my life, each one offering only a morsel of relief that could barely sustain me.
There are verses that have been mottos of my life, words that have grounded me in who I am in the Lord. Two of these verses continued to knock on my heart’s door. The first was Isaiah 55:11, “…so my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” My name is a word spoken by God, sent out to accomplish what he desires, and I will not return to him void.
This chapter in Isaiah and my present inner chaos reminded me of the woman at the well with Jesus. This has always been the most treasured story in the Bible to me, and it always rises with the tide at just the perfect moment. Jesus spoke to her of living water that would cause her to never thirst again. When she ran to tell everyone (leaving her water jar behind), Jesus was no longer hungry because he had food his disciples “knew nothing about.” As I read and compared these verses, the themes of fulfillment made me almost uneasy. This was not my reality.
I was struck by the way the Spirit was “paying it forward” in the story—Jesus fed her his words of life, the streams of living water flowed from her to others who believed, and Jesus, in turn, was fulfilled by the Spirit. Jesus’s words did not return to him void. Not only did her story bring more to believe, but Christ was fed by the Spirit in a way so fulfilling that it curbed his hunger. God has created this world to be sustainable. God has made it possible for me to be fulfilled.
In the last quarter of the year, the word that rose to the surface for 2024 was “rhythm.” Over the years I have learned that these “word seeds” are precious love notes from God, guiding, wooing, and comforting me through the seasons of the year. One single word reassures me that I am fully known and actively pursued—that’s powerful!
As I seek to find a balance between the roles in which God has placed me, I take great delight in watching the rhythm of how God sows new revelations, which yield deeper understandings of who he is, who I am, and his place for me in this world. And for better or worse, the rhythms I choose will determine how my soul is fed. This word seed, nurtured throughout the year, will not return to God empty, but it will accomplish his purposes in my life.
Amy Altstatt is a faith-driven writer, passionate about women finding their own voice in Scripture and seeing how God reveals His plan and character through women as active participants in the gospel of redemption, freedom, and hope. She is currently writing a book that reexamines how God tells His story through even the most subliminal female characters in Scripture. Amy’s websites are Amyaltstatt.com and www.patreon.com/adrinkofwater.
A single word. What a great idea, so uncomplicated.